Lena and Mom 2-14-06

"Pretty moms"
Before I was a Mom –
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom –
I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Chewed on. Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.
Before I was a MomI never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a MomI never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom -I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom -I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.
Original Message Becky Kountz

A special mom sent this to me through my dad. It does not matter how many times I read it I still get teary eyed because it is what I, as a mom, feel. I close my eyes and still see my 9 pound 2 ounce baby stuffed into a felt heart on that Valentine’s Day two years ago when she was brand new. I think about how she has grown and changed all of the things that she has learned I am amazed how fast time has gone. I look at myself and I have changed and grown in ways that I never realized. I worry about the strangest things, instead of buying clothes in the women’s section I frequent the clearance rack in all of the stores I go in. Instead of staying up late to watch a movie, I go to bed early to read the same book over and over and over and over just waiting for Lena to drift off to sleep so I can watch her sleep so peacefully in my arms, so I can trace her perfect little lips with my finger. My living room no longer has endless breakable treasures they have been replaced by endless toys rows of Elmo’s, balls of every size, dolls with clothes, dolls with no clothes, and a wooden rocking horse made for my little girl by my Dad and Grandpa. College books have been replaced with board books. I would not change it for the world; I love the changes that have happened to my home. My Grandma once told me that you could always love one more person because you heart would just grow, there is always room for another, and she was a very smart lady.